


These Bracelets Are Too Deep (Crushing My Bones)

by worshippinglou



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Childhood Abuse, M/M, Mute!Louis, Underage - Freeform, larry stylinson - Freeform, lightly (v lightly) based off of 50 shades of grey, noncon, selective mutism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-24
Updated: 2014-08-24
Packaged: 2018-02-14 13:02:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2192784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/worshippinglou/pseuds/worshippinglou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis' faced a dark past, the future is darker. Harry is a light and thats just what he needs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	These Bracelets Are Too Deep (Crushing My Bones)

You know those anti-smoking commercials they show you in school, diseased lungs and all that? Thats what I think my mind looks like: twisted, black and disgusting. The kind of mind that no one wants, and no good person should have to be around. 

I don't think i'm a person at all. I'm something less, something superior to everyone else, that's the only explanation I have as to why I'm treated this way. Then again, maybe life just isn't meant for me. Maybe I'm better off dead, like him. 

"Louis?" 

It was my mother, she is so kind to me, I don't know why. I don't even speak to her, I don't speak to anyone, actually. 

I looked at her as she entered my room. She smiled warily at me. Such a pretty smile she had. I wish I could be pretty like her. Boy's can't be pretty though.

"Mr. Levin said you can work for him!" Her wary smile turned into a happy one. "He only needs help with his backyard, everyday at around noon I'll drop you off there, sound good love?" 

I nodded, it was important for me to start working this summer, the extra cash was something every 14 year old boy wants. My mothers grin grew, probably because I actually agreed to leave the house and work.

"You'll start tomorrow, dinner will be ready in a bit!" She called out as she left my room. 

I didn't answer, I wasn't very hungry. I wanted to sleep, but I couldnt. I kept hearing my fathers voice in my head, he wouldn't stop yelling!  
 _"You stupid boy!"_

_"ugly son of a bitch!"_

_"You ruined my life!"_

I closed my eyes and swallowed a pill, my therapist told me that these pills would make my father shut up. 

My father passed away 3 years ago. He wasn't a very nice man, he would hit me a lot and spit on me and kick me and call me bad bad names. 

I didn't like him and was glad that he passed away. Which made me feels guilty. Sometimes I liked to think that if it were me who passed away, instead of him, his anger would have ceased and he, my mom, and my brother would all be that happy family that others envied. 

That just wasn't the case. My mom did remarry though, my step-father is a nice man. He likes to play sports with Cedrick, my brother. They ask me to play but I never do. My step-father likes to buy me bracelets, I have a whole collection of them. I never wear them, but they are all so pretty, I keep them on display in my room. My step-father smiles whenever he sees the display. 

I finally get the yelling to stop and fall asleep, ignoring the calls that tell me dinner is ready. 

-

Mom drops me off at Mr. Levin's house and I go to knock on his door. Thankfully, he is aware of my selective mutism, so he won't be offended when i don't speak to him. He opens the door and gives me a light smile. "Louis, I'll show you to the backyard. You'll get a great workout these next few weeks."

i nod. Mr. Levin looks to be around 40, maybe a bit younger. I'm not sure. He's quite attractive for his age, dark black hair, very pale, red lips. 

Mr Levin leads us to the backyard and explains what he wants me to do, once he senses that I understand, he steps onto his deck and grabs a beer from his cooler. He takes a seat and watches as I begin to scoop out the dead insects in his pool. 

I feel uncomfortable under his stare, but eventually i forget about it as I begin to work up a sweat. Im so concentrated that I don't notice him stand and bring me a water bottle.

"Thirsty?" He mumbles, he is looking me up and down. I nod and take the bottle, as Im drinking he pushes the bottom of the bottle and causes the water to spill all over me.

My Levin sighs, "Shame. I suppose you'll have to take these clothes off now?" 

I want to stop him when he begins to peel my shirt off, and then my jeans, but I can't— i'm frozen, and eventually left in nothing but baggy boxer shorts.

"Why don't you come inside, Louis?" He grabs my hand and slowly leads me inside, my clothes lay forgotten on the pool deck. 

Once we're in the privacy of his house his eyes grow dark, I try to move my hand out of his, but he squeezes tighter. 

"Mmm. Louis. You have such a pretty name, it suits you since you're such a pretty boy." Mr. Levin tugged my hand again and brought me up the stairs into what looked like his bedroom. "Normally I don't fuck little boys in my bedroom, but you can be an exception." He began to peel his shirt off after letting go of my hand. What was I supposed to do now? Run?

He'd obviously catch me. I just stared at him, he took his pants off next. I started crying, I was so nervous and frustrated. 

"Oh Louis, baby. Don't cry! I just wanna make the both of us feel good." He smiled, next he began to peel off _my_ clothes. I cried harder and hoped he'd feel bad and let me go.

"I said stop fucking crying." And then it came; he slapped me. 

"When I say something, you listen to it. Understand?" 

I nodded quickly. Once i was fully undressed Mr. Levin pushed me onto the bed and walked to his drawer. He pulled out a pair of handcuffs and came back to me with a _sick_ smile at his lips. He cuffed one of my wrists to the bed and did the same to my other.

"Now don't you look pretty like that? I should take a picture." 

I shook my head as he pulled out his phone and snapped a few pictures. "Look so nice with tears in those blue eyes." 

He walked closer to me and crawled on top of my body. Was he serious? He was actually going to have sex with me? Talking was against my rules but I had no choice in this situation.

"Please." I squeaked out. My voice sounded so different from how I remembered it. I hadn't talked for so long that even though I said only one word it still burned my throat. 

"Whats this? The infamous mute Tomlinson, speaking?!" He laughed. "Plea all you want, I'm going to fuck you either way." 

Mr. Levin lined his private part up against mine and pushed in. I screamed like I was being murdered.

"Please! Stop!" He was tearing me apart, he kept pulling out and then pushing back in even harder then the last time. "Oh my God please stop!"

Screaming with a voice that's barely been used was very painful. 

"But you feel so good? Why stop?" Mr. Levin asked. He closed his eyes and threw his head back. 

I pulled on the handcuffs but nothing happened, they simply made my wrists ache more. I was just full of pain. 

Mr. Levin seemed to be enjoying himself though, he seemed to actually like my screaming and trying to escape. What was wrong with him? I tried to make my crying stop so that he couldn't enjoy it, but the more I tried to stop the louder I was. 

"Yea, fuck yea Louis. You little whore, knew you'd love this. Fucking _knew_ it." 

i shook my head, "I don't."

He thrusted in harder and grabbed my neck. "Yes you fucking do."

"No! It hurts! Get off of me, p-p..please!" 

Mr. Levin started tightening his grip around my neck, cutting off my air.

"Tell me you like it."

"I l-like it." I lied.

"Thought so. Slut." He slapped my face again, harder then the last time, and with one last thrust he spilled into me. It was so warm and so gross. I hated it. I hadn't hated anything since my father.

Mr. Levin dressed himself again and stared at me. "your mom will be here to pick you up soon." He uncuffed me.

"Clean up, and if you say a word about this, I'll fucking kill you. Understand?" 

I nodded and rushed out of the room to clean myself. 

I felt disgusting. I really wanted to shower, but that would take too long. i just washed my face off and put my clothes back on. This would have to do for now. 

I looked down at my wrists, which were red and even bleeding a little bit because of the cuffs.

"Borrow this sweater until you can get those bandaged and healed, till then wear make up on them. Kay?" 

A honk from outside interrupted us, it was my mom.

"Ill see you tomorrow, Louis. Remember what I said."

I hummed in approval and quickly ran outside. 

What a day.

-

"Hey Lou, how was the first day of work?" My mom asked me, which I thought was pretty dumb. I obviously don't speak, why would she expect a reply? Maybe she just refuses to accept the fact that the happy little boy i used to be is gone. After what just happened, it makes it feel even more real that my past self is gone. I simply nodded and rested my head against the window, hoping she'd leave it at that.

"We're having company over tonight. An old high school friend of mine recently got in touch with me, she moved here a while ago and found out I was here to. I invited her and her family over for dinner. She has a son, hes a bit older then you, 17, but I think you'll get along just fine."

Fine? Yes, besides the fact that i won't speak to him. But no, thats not a big deal. 

How am I supposed to deal with my family _plus_ another family tonight? I should be spending time wondering how I'm going to get out of this job without exposing Mr. Levin. 

When we arrived back at the house I ran straight to the bathroom. i had to shower before I scraped my skin off, I felt so dirty. 

The warm water felt great over my skin, besides my wrists. They burned, but nothing I couldnt handle. I think after today I could handle anything. Im invincible. 

Even after the shower I still felt gross, but it was.. bearable. I ran to my room to get dressed, i made sure to wear long sleeves. 

"hey Lou how was that job thing today? Mr. Levin cool? Or is he a shit boss?" Cedrick laughed. I forced a smile at him and prayed he'd get out of my room. I needed to be alone before I have to spend the night with family and strangers that would probably try to pressure me to talk. If i started speaking tonight I'm afraid what I might let slip. Cant let that happen.

I figured a nap would cure how I was feeling so I jumped into bed and hoped for the best.

-

"Louis! Come downstairs!" 

Shit. Those people must be here now, mom never uses that overly sweet voice unless theres others around. 

I did as told and ran down to meet whoever was here for the night. 

"Oh, here he is. Louis, this is my old friend, Anne, her husband Nicholas, and their son Harry. guys, this is my Louis!" My mom introduced us. I noticed Cedrick and my step father sitting on the couch with random refreshments on the table top. 

I looked at the family, they seemed like genuine people. The boy, Harry, was looking at me weirdly though. I didn't mind though, he was quite attractive. 

"How nice to meet you Louis, you look so much like your mother, its crazy." Anne said. Nicholas chuckled and smiled at me. Harry was still giving me a strange stare. I simply waved at them and took a seat next to Cedrick on the couch.

"You alright Louis? I know you arent great with, ya know, strangers." He asked.

i nodded, i was okay. i just really wanted to get this night over and go to sleep. 

"Harry, why dont you go sit with Cedrick and Louis. Louis will be going to the same school as you both this September, you can make good friends." Anne said and followed my mom and Nicholas into the other room. my step father got up to join them.

"So Harry, Ive never seen you around. What year are you?" Cedrick asked.

"12th. And yourself?"

Harry had a very deep voice, it was kind of like chocolate, just running off a fountain, with the occasional sweet fruit. 

"Same. Louis' just gunna be starting high school."

Harry chuckled, "Freshmeat." He spoke.

i looked to Cedrick, I was getting uncomfortable, did Harry know I don't speak?

"I assume that you know, about Louis?" He asked.

"Erm, what?" Harry was confused. So he didn't know. 

"He doesn't talk." 

"Oh?" 

Great. Now Harry thought I was weird. 

"Thats um.. Why?" Harry asked.

"Couldnt tell ya."

Harry gave me that strange look again and grabbed a slice of American cheese off the table top and ate it. We watched random telly for a bit before mom shouted that dinner was ready.

"Let go boys." Cedrick smiled, he loved food.

I, on the other hand, felt like if I ate anything i'd puke. My stomach felt disgusted. It wasn't the foods fault though, I was probably just disgusted with myself. My bum still hurt and so did my wrists, my cheeks still burned. It felt like basically Mr. Levins abuse was still going on. 

I still got up though, ignoring the pain, and took my seat next to Harry at the dinner table. My mom said grace and everyone began to eat.

I stared at my food, it was a simple bowl of pasta with vodka sauce and parmesan cheese. It looked good. too good for someone like me to have. I don't deserve to eat. I'm disgusting. 

"Lou, you're not eating?" My mom asked quietly. 

I thought no one noticed. But apparently not. Curse mothers and how they know everything. 

I looked at her and put a forkful of pasta in my mouth and gave her a small smile. When i brought the food to my mouth, I guess my sweater sleeves went up though, because I heard Harry gasp. I looked at him and he was staring at my wrist. I quickly pulled my sleeves back down before anyone else could see. I gave Harry a pleading look, silently begging him to not say anything. 

He grew deep worry lines in his forehead but looked away from me and continued eating his food. 

I just really needed to sleep. 

-

The rest of dinner went okay. No one spoke to me, mom and Anne just caught up with each other while Nicholas and my step father got to know each other. Cedrick was very concentrated on seeing how many bowls of pasta he could get down, but he asked a distracted Harry some questions and laughed with him a bit. Harry kept giving me worried glances, which honestly started to annoy me a bit. I have a mark on my wrist, he should just assume it's from a tight bracelet or something.

I quickly peaked under my sleeve to look. Well, maybe Harry was right, it looked too thick to be from a tight bracelet, and I'm sure tight bracelets don't literally cut your skin and bruise it. But still, it isn't his business.

The Styles family was just getting ready to leave (thankfully), but of course my mother had to invite Anne for another 'quick' drink, which she gladly accepted after shooting a pleading look at Nicholas. 

I glared at my mom then turned around, Harry and Cedrick didn't need me around while they watched TV, i started going to my room when I heard someone call my name.

Of course it was Harry. 

"Louis? Can you show me where the bathroom is?" 

I sighed, this was obviously his way of getting me alone to speak, which I wasn't going to do. I motioned for him to follow me a d when we got there i waited for him to go inside, he ended up gently pulling me in with him, by my forearm.

I froze after he closed the door and locked it. What if he hurt me? Harry was a good couple of inches taller, and he was older, and definitely stronger. I backed up to the other side of the bathroom, away from him.

"I'm not gunna hurt you. I just wanna make sure you're alright. Can I see your arm, please?" He asked.

I shook my head no and looked away from him. I did not want to do this right now.

"Okay.. Well if you don't let me see how can I know if your'e not going to get an infection?" 

I honestly couldn't give a shit if I got an infection. 

"Louis, please. Just let me take a look." 

It's not like he'd be able to know what the mark is from anyway,I pulled up a sleeve and let him examine it. He gasped, again, and then quickly looked at my other arm as well.

"Its on both arms. I don't understand, what happened? Do you cut yourself?"

I shook my head.

"Well, these cuts.." all of the sudden a shocked look washed over his face.

"Louis.. were you hand cuffed, or tied up?" 

That was it.

I pulled my arms away from him, pushed my sleeves down, and walked right out of the bathroom.

Who did Harry think he was? Asking me that? 

"Wait! Can you tell me who did it?" He yelled from the bathroom. i shook my head and walked back to where our parents were, Harry followed.

He'd better not say anything around them.

"Oh good, there you two are. Harry, say thank you to mrs. and mr. Tomlinson for dinner." Anne spoke.

"Dinner was great, thank you's." Harry smiled. 

I thought dinner sucked, but it didn't matter. Before Harry and his family turned to leave, he walked close to me. 

"I'm gunna find out who made your wrists like that, what they did, and I'm going to hurt them." He mumbled.

I gasped. Harry looked into my eyes and nodded. "Goodbye, Louis." 

It was some sort of unspoken promise. I doubted Harry would be able to even suspect Mr. Levin of doing this, but who knows? Maybe he's bright. I secretly wanted Harry to find out, I wanted him to comfort me and tell me it's alright, I'll be okay. He'll take care of me and we'll be fine.

**Author's Note:**

> good enough to continue? leave comments and kudos x.


End file.
